You may have been wondering, ‘When should a Christian walk away from a friendship?’ In this article, I will provide you with some signs to look out for to know when to walk away from a friendship. Let’s go!
Going down the memory lane…….
As a believer, I have encountered various experiences with friendships, some of which led me to end them due to the challenges they posed to my spiritual journey. It’s not that these individuals were inherently bad; in fact, they were friends whom I deeply respected.
One particular relationship stands out from a few years ago, when I had just graduated from secondary school. In this new environment, I met Kennedy, who was also preparing for JAMB examination like myself, to enter the university. Our friendship flourished as we invested time in personal growth, such as reading books and acquiring skills online.
However, our paths diverged when I discovered that Kennedy was Agnostic, a belief influenced by the death of his mother. Our discussions about faith often led to arguments, leaving me doubting my beliefs as a new believer.
While I attempted to understand Kennedy’s perspective, his unwavering conviction that God did not exist fueled our disagreements. Gradually, our friendship became toxic as I noticed a decline in my devotion to prayer and God’s word.
Friendship stands as a foundational pillar of human connection, fostering companionship, support, and shared growth. Personally, I view friendship as the union of two people with similar unique interests aiming to help each other become better.
In the context of Christianity, friendship holds significant importance, providing an opportunity for individuals to share their faith and strengthen themselves through scripture and prayer. As a believer, friendship takes on added significance, serving as a platform for mutual spiritual growth and support beyond mere connection.
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When Should a Christian Walk Away from a Friendship?
The scripture says in Ecclesiastes 4:9, ‘Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.’ This indicates that God recognizes the importance of relationships with others in our lives.
He understands our innate desire to be known and loved, as He created us for companionship. Given this, as believers, we must consider if there are circumstances that would prompt us to end a friendship.
It’s crucial to evaluate certain factors before deciding to terminate a friendship. The question then arises: What are the signs to look for before concluding that a friendship needs to end?
1. Their Value system:
One must consider the alignment of values. Values are the beliefs and opinions that people hold regarding specific issues or ideas. When a believer gives his life to Christ, the Spirit within is regenerated, and as he/she starts studying the scriptures, the life of Jesus is infused in that individual, affecting their mind and body.
If a friend’s value system consistently challenges or undermines one’s core principles and values, it may be time to reassess its importance in one’s life. 1 Corinthians 15:33 tells us that bad company corrupts good character. This could include situations where a friend encourages behavior or activities that conflict with moral beliefs or principles.
2. Faith/Belief System:
Faith plays a crucial role in determining the health of a friendship. 2Cor 6:14 says Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
If a friendship poses a threat to one’s faith or spiritual well-being, it’s crucial to evaluate its impact. This could manifest in various ways, such as a friend consistently ridiculing or belittling religious beliefs, or actively discouraging the practice of faith.
If maintaining the friendship leads to doubts about one’s faith or pulls one away from spiritual practices, it may be time to distance oneself from that relationship to protect one’s beliefs and spiritual journey.
Take this as an example; Imagine two people stand on different levels, one on a podium and the other on the floor,and they both try to pull a rope against each other, there is a greater tendency for the person on the floor to pull the person on the podium toward their side except the person on the podium is very strong.
That also applies to someone who is a new believer. It’s easier for someone who does not share the same faith as you and has a stronger conviction to pull you towards what they believe.
[RELATED ARTICLE: The Need to Daily Recharge Your Faith as a Christian]
3. Relationship Toxicity:
Toxic friendships are characterized by manipulation, control, or emotional abuse. Proverbs 6:27 says Can a man take fire to his bosom and his clothes not be burned?
If the relationship consistently brings negativity, or harm into one’s life, it’s crucial to prioritize one’s well-being and walk away. Toxic friendships can erode self-esteem, drain energy, and hinder personal and spiritual growth.
4. Season of One’s life:
The bible says in Eccl 3:1; Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God choose (GNT). In the bible, Abraham and Lot were close relatives, travelling together on the same path. As their possessions and households grew, conflicts arose between the herders (Gen 13:8-13). Although Lot wasn’t necessarily a negative influence, the situation required their separation.
In the subsequent verse, it was after Lot left that God communicated with Abraham to look out over the land, revealing the covenant he had with him. Imagine if he was still with Lot, it may have been a hindrance to what God intend to do with Abraham, who knows?
There are friendships that may slow us down God’s process in our life. They are not necessarily bad people, it’s just that their presence in that season of your life could delay your growth process with God.
5. The Type of Association They Keep:
Lastly, consider the associations of the person. The Bible warns us about the influence of our associations in 1 Corinthians 15:33, stating that bad company corrupts good character.
While Jesus dined with sinners and reached out to them in love, his closest companions were those who remained in his presence and shared his mission. As believers, our associations can significantly impact our spiritual journey. If a friend’s associations lead you down a path that conflicts with your beliefs or values, it may be necessary to reassess the friendship to protect your spiritual well-being.
Few Tips to Successfully End an Ungodly Friendship
In navigating the process of ending a friendship, it’s essential to approach it with wisdom and grace.
Firstly, seek guidance from God through prayer and meditation on his word. Ask for discernment and clarity in understanding whether the relationship aligns with his will for your life.
Secondly, engage in honest communication with the friend in question. Express your concerns and reasons for considering ending the friendship, and listen to their perspective with an open heart. While the conversation may be difficult, it’s essential for both parties to have closure and understanding.
Furthermore, set boundaries to protect your spiritual and emotional well-being. This may involve limiting contact with the individual or establishing clear guidelines for interaction moving forward. Remember Proverbs 4:23, which admonishes believers to guard their hearts above all else, for it determines the course of their lives. By setting boundaries, you can maintain your spiritual integrity and protect yourself from further harm.
Additionally, seek support from spiritual leaders, mentors, or trusted friends who can provide guidance and encouragement during this challenging time. Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and support you in your faith journey, and lean on their wisdom and insight (in line with the word of God) as you navigate the process of ending a friendship.
Conclusion
While it’s important to shine your light and share God’s love with others, there’s also a delicate balance to maintain. As Matthew 5:16 reminds us, we’re called to let our light shine before others, so they may see our good deeds and glorify our Father in Heaven. Jesus instructed us to preach the gospel to all creation, emphasizing the importance of sharing God’s love with those around us.
However, when a friendship becomes toxic and starts to lead you away from God, it’s crucial to apply wisdom in such situations.
Remember to show them genuine Love and also praying for them that they may come to the knowledge of Jesus who called you to himself. Remember that God loves them according to John 3:16 which says that for God so loved the WORLD that is gave his only son but the difference is that we are his children and they are God’s creature.
In these moments, it’s essential to prioritize your relationship with God and take steps to protect your faith.
So, knowing when to walk away from a friendship requires grace, discernment, and courage. By checking their value system, faith compatibility, toxicity in the relationship you can make an informed decision that honours God and protects your belief.
